I just miscarried. What now?

By: Dr. Kenan Omurtag

As we reach the end of October, wanted to leave people with information about what happens next (both short term and long term) after one is confronted with the fact that they no longer have a viable pregnancy. Below are 4 macro steps 

Step 1. Grieve – Don’t be afraid to cry. We welcome it. You should feel like you are in a safe space to release your emotions. Partners, you too. Don’t forget to grieve. Its hard, but you are equally invested in this goal. Partners used to feel like they wanted to fix things, now, they are very good at simply being present and being a shoulder to lean on when needed. But they too need a shoulder…Lean on your support system, and do not be afraid to ask for professional counseling as well. #ivfdoctors and #obgyns can direct you to such services. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Remember that whether this is your first miscarriage or your 10^th, (yes, we‘ve seen it) you can be successful. Let’s repeat that: Its hard and often times unbelievable, but you can have a live birth!   

Step 2. Managing the Resolution of the current pregnancy –  there are three options: wait and let nature take its course, active management w/cytotec that causes the uterus to contract and expels the products of conception, or active management with a D & C. Each has pros and cons that will resonate with people on an individual basis. Talk to your doctor about which approach is right for you. You don’t need to decide immediately as oftentimes the news of a miscarriage can be so disorienting. Take a day or two to process if applicable. 

Step 3. Looking Ahead (while grieving) – Our patients have shared with us that looking ahead assists with the grieving process. In response, we lay out a timeline including necessary action items before they are able to “try again.” Once the pregnancy has been resolved, we wait for the next period which, for example, could be 4-6 weeks after the identification and active management of a pregnancy loss. In many cases, with that subsequent period, we do a cavity evaluation with a sonohysterography and then with the subsequent period, if ready physically and mentally, allow return to #ttc.  

Step 4. Making adjustments and #TTC – sometimes we make adjustments to a treatment plan, sometimes we do not. Talk to your doctor about what’s right for you.  

Remember you are #notbroken. This process will work for and we will be there to support you along your journey.

Kenan Omurtag, MD (he/him)
Associate Professor, REI
Associate REI Fellowship Program Director
@drkenanomurtagmd (IG)